I am a Squib
by ebonyjinx
Summary: Filch has watched his older sister Elizabeth go through four years of Hogwarts. His biggest dream is to go to Hogwarts. But when he gets his letter from Hogwarts in the mail, something his missing.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

My stomach was clenched with nervousness. All my dreams were held up in this moment. I held a letter in my hand. Elizabeth had gotten one of these letters to tell her that she was going to Hogwarts. That she was a witch. Mum and Dad were so proud. Of course, they expected it. As a pure-blood Elizabeth was obviously destined for greatness in the magical world. And I was too. But as I opened the letter, peeling back the wax that held the letter closed, I sensed something was wrong. The envelope wasn't as full as Lizzie's had been. I read the hard-to-read cursive handwriting on the parchment.

**Dear Mr. Argus Filch,**

** I am sorry to say that you have not been admitted in the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. You do not possess the amount of magical ability we, the Professor's of the school, are looking for. But, the Headmaster of Hogwarts, Armando Dippet, and our Transfiguration professor, Albus Dumbledore, would like to give you an opportunity for your future. Please send any convenient times and/or dates for this meeting so that we can plan this out for you. **

** I am very sorry,**

**Minerva McGonagall**

I stared blankly at the piece of parchment in my hands. I looked up at the smiling, hopeful faces of my parents, crumpled up the parchment, and sobbing uncontrollably, ran up the stairs, to my bedroom. I was a Squib.

Chapter 1

Mum came up to bring me dinner after a while. She assured me that Dad nor her were not mad about me being a Squib. She declared that it was okay having just one magical child in the family. Of course, this made me cry even harder. It was okay? I didn't even have a choice! No one even gave me the option of being a wizard. I began to hate this Headmaster, this Armando Dippet. It was his fault I wasn't a wizard. I despised him with all of my heart.

Dad had written back this McGonagall character, telling her that this meeting should be set for a date "not in the near future," so that I could calm down. But I could not calm down. I started to despise magic in general. If Mum came into my room in the morning and cleaned my closet by using magic, I would scream at her for ten minutes at a time and then mess up my closet all over again so that later on in the day, she would clean it by hand. When Elizabeth's O.W.L.'s came the next summer and she came showed me that she passed every class, I tore up the parchment and told her she was a freak, going to a freak's school, and that I never wanted her to talk to me ever again. After a while, I sank into a deep depression. I stopped working hard in Muggle school, I stopped talking to anyone, and I even stopped eating. I had no interest in life anymore. Mum decided it was time for a meeting with Professor Dippet and Professor Dumbledore.

I walked into the restaurant my parents had chosen for the occasion. It had many private rooms, so the professors and I would not be heard. My blood boiled as I walked down the hallway and opened the door. Two men, dressed in long velvet robes stood up to greet me. The first looked tired, as if he would rather be anywhere but in a fancy restaurant in the middle of London.

"Hello Argus," he said quietly, "I am Armando Dippet."

I only nodded my head in return. The other man had a silver beard that almost went down to his knees. His piercing blue eyes were covered by half-moon spectacles.

"Hello Argus," he smiled, "I am Albus Dumbledore."

I shook his hand but refused to say anything. We sat there, Professor Dippet staring at his hands and twiddling his thumbs, Professor Dumbledore watching me, me watching the floor. Finally I spoke.

"Why?" I asked.

"Why what, Argus?" Dumbledore answered calmly.

"What do you mean, why what? Why can I not go to Hogwarts? Why can't I be a bloody wizard? Why did you make come to this stupid restaurant when I am no longer important to you or the stupid Ministry of Magic? Why do you care? Why can't you just leave me alone? Why can't magic just not exist?" I screamed at him. Didn't he get it? All of my dreams were destroyed by his letter. I hated him.

Dumbledore just looked at me intently. Of course this got me madder than ever, "Why can't you leave me alone?" I repeated. I was crying again, shaking in anger and sadness. "I hate everyone! I hate you two stupid professors, I hate Mum and Dad, I hate Elizabeth! I hate anyone that can do magic instead of me. I hate me! I'm a freak, a bloody Squib! Why aren't I good enough?"


	2. Chapter 2

Hate bubbled up inside my chest. I wanted to scream. Dumbledore looked so calm, not bothered at all by my sudden outburst. His reserved personality bothered me more than anything. Why wasn't he getting mad at me?

"Argus," he said, "I am terribly sorry. I know how much going to Hogwarts meant to you. But I'm afraid you can't perform magic."

"So you came here to tell me what I already know? Please, I don't need your help to realize that I'm just a useless Muggle!" I screamed hysterically.

"Argus, why would you think that you are useless? Muggles have been surviving without magic for centuries. They have their own way of doing things. And they are thriving even without magical ways of doing things. They are far from useless," Dumbledore argued.

"That's great. What do you want…professor?" I said impatiently. I wanted to leave to frilly restaurant as soon as possible.

"I have a proposition for you Argus. We are in need of a caretaker at Hogwarts. You would simply clean around the castle. Not much work at all. And you would still go to the school," Dumbledore reasoned.

"I would be a bloody maid. No," I got up and walked out of the restaurant. I had a feeling that this would not be the last time I met Albus Dumbledore.

I walked home slowly, taking it all in. The usually bright and busy streets seemed strangely dull and dark. That was how I was going to have to live. As a Muggle. I sat on the big front porch of my house, looking at the shiny features that I had gotten used to in the past eleven years. The white porch and balcony that practically sparkled with cleanliness. The light grey bricks that lined themselves up in perfect rows, without a speck of dirt on them. All cleaned my magic. I now despised the cleanliness of the house I had grown to love. It was spoiled by the magic that seeped into the walls, poisoning everything that lay inside them.

I trudged up to my room, depressed and alone. I sat reading and rereading my sister's books for school, the ones that were meant to be given to me when I had my turn. The spells that I would have learned jumped out at me and I practiced them with a twig from the cherry tree outside of my window. Of course, as it was not a real wand, I had little success. My sister was disturbed by the fact that even though there was no chance of making it to Hogwarts, I would spend every minute of the hours that I didn't spend sleeping, trying spells that would never work.

At Muggle school I lost all of my friends. I talked to no one. The teacher was worried for me. She tried talking to me without any success. I ignored her. I got good test scores but was only getting B's and C's because of my ghastly participation grade.

One day, Mum walked into my room.

"Argus, we need to talk."


	3. Chapter 3

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"I'm worried for you Argus," she said, looking nervous for fear I would start screaming at her, "You're 19 years old now, an adult, and you still can't get over the fact that you won't be able to perform magic. I know it's sad but it's time to move on. At this rate you'll never get a job. You don't like doing anything, you won't talk to anyone, and your father and I can't support you forever. I think you should take Professor Dumbledore's offer." She held her breath, waiting for me to answer.

"No," I insisted, "I'm fine Mum."

"You're not Argus, you're not fine. You are sinking into depression. And you will keep getting deeper and deeper unless you decide to do something with your life! And I think that getting a job will keep you distracted enough to get out of this faze so that you can go to college and do something worthwhile. Please Argus, do it for me," she pleaded.

I got up and left the house, to take a walk and think about my choices. I sat on a bench outside of the big library in the middle of town. I thought about Elizabeth. She had recently married Henry Norris, a Muggle-born, and they lived on the other side of town. I often wished for Elizabeth, though we were not close at all since the letter, in fact we barely spoke to each other. But I longed for a sibling that I could talk to without them just agreeing with my parents. Elizabeth and I never had that. We grew apart the few years before I started to argue a lot with my parents and I had a lot of things to talk about. I missed her.

As I sat, I heard a quiet mew from underneath the park bench. I looked and saw a small kitten. The kitten's fur was ragged. She was covered in mud. The look in her wide green eyes showed that she was deathly scared of me. The kitten rubbed her little head against my leg, smearing my pants with mud. I picked her up slowly. I could feel her ribs.

She squirmed and protested when I picked her up but after I sat her on my lap and started to pet her, she stopped trying to get free and purred quietly. I stood up with her in my hands. I walked into the kitchen without talking to either of my parents. I got some milk from the cupboard and poured some into a tin dish. The kitten, still caked with mud, lapped up the milk quickly as though she had not eaten for several days, which was probably true. After she was finished, I gently scrubbed her off with a rag, revealing soft brown fur spotted with black underneath the dirt. I held my hand out to her and she licked the end of my finger with her ruff, tiny tongue. She then nestled into me, purring again.

I picked her up and walked into my father's office where both of my parents were sitting.

"Mum, Dad? Can I keep her?" I asked, holding her out to them. When they both nodded I smiled for the first time in months. I tried to give her to my mom to hold but the kitten hissed at her. Finally, I had someone who favored me. She was mine. I vowed to keep her forever. I gave her the name Mrs. Norris. My new Elizabeth. The one who loved me.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry I haven't written in a while. I was at camp for 4 weeks.**

Over the next few weeks I became a little happier. I dedicated all of my free time to Mrs. Norris, whom I cherished with all of my heart. Of course, I then sacrificed any time I had for studying, making my grades even worse off than before. One day, as I was reading a book on the floor with Mrs. Norris sleeping in my lap, there was a knock at the door. Mother opened the door to find herself face-to-face with Albus Dumbledore. Thinking I was rid of him was a huge mistake.

"Mrs. Filch," he said, bowing deeply, "you wanted me to talk to Argus?"

She nodded, looking back at me, frightened that I was going to start screaming at her. I satisfied myself by glaring back. Instead of greeting Dumbledore at all, I ignored him and continued to read my book, occasionally stroking Mrs. Norris's head. But Dumbledore's refused to be discouraged. He sat down on the floor with me, waiting patiently for me to notice him. Of course, I knew he was there but I had no desire to acknowledge him. But after a few minutes of him looking at me, I started to feel self-conscious and I looked up at him.

"Yes? What do you want," I asked, trying to be as rude as possible so that he would go away.

He ignored my question completely.

"What is her name?" he asked, pointing to the cat on my lap.

"Mrs. Norris," I answered proudly.

"May I hold her," he asked, holding out his hands.

"Sure, but she usually doesn't like anyone to hold her but me." But when I held Mrs. Norris out to him, she purred and let him pet her. I suddenly trusted Dumbledore. I made an abrupt decision.

"Uh, Professor? Is the caretaker job still open?"

"Yes Argus, it is," he said, still petting Mrs. Norris's head.

"Can I have it? I mean, I'm not going to amount to much in the Muggle world so maybe I can be part of Hogwarts. Just for a while, I mean. I'll still have Mrs. Norris, won't I? She and I will care take together!"

"Of course! I will be glad to give it to you! But Argus, Mrs. Norris won't be around forever to help you," Dumbledore reminded me.

"You're a wizard! You can make her live longer can't you? I mean, she's all I have!" I had tears in my eyes that I tried to conceal as I looked at Dumbledore.

He looked like he was about to refuse but after a moment, he nodded. He took out his wand and muttered an incantation at Mrs. Norris, who suspected nothing. He handed her to me and stood up.

"I will see you soon Argus. I'm glad that you've decided to come to Hogwarts at last," he shook my hand and left.

I looked my cat in the eye and told her, "Come on Mrs. Norris, pack your bags! We're finally going to Hogwarts!"

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**Ebony Jinx xoxo**


	5. Chapter 5

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Hogwarts was nothing like I thought it would be. I thought I would be excited to finally be where I belonged. I thought that I would feel like I was home. But it was quite the opposite. It was awkward being the janitor of Hogwarts where girls would watch me, the twenty year old unknown man. Of course, no one knew that I was a Squib. The thought of them knowing made my stomach hurt. But as Dumbledore promised, the work was not hard. I cleaned quietly and quickly, and I searched for hidden passageways. In order to catch students out of bed, I had to think like a student. And it worked, I found four right away.

I was also in charge of finding students out of bed at night. Of course Mrs. Norris was brilliant at that and would come to me if she found anyone. And, knowing about the passageways got me there fast.

Peeves always found a way to make my life difficult though. He would never listen to me and would make job hard and the cleaning plentiful. I hated him. But in all, life was good. I had my own office and quarters, I had Mrs. Norris, a new life, and I was at Hogwarts, where I had always wanted to be.

But as much as I loved Hogwarts, I still despised the students. Watching these kids practicing things I only dreamed of doing hurt more than watching my sister perform these spells at home. This is where everything happened. This is where _I _should have succeeded. But I didn't.

But the person I hated most of all was Harry Potter, who not only got to go to Hogwarts, but he got to be famous as well! He was also a troublemaker and usually broke the rules in order to succeed! I felt that was unfair. He was rewarded for his stupidity. At least Dumbledore was famous because he was respected and fair. He was the one person I liked.

Then, after four years of talking to Mrs. Norris and Dumbledore, _she _came. Delores Umbridge. She valued me and hated the kids almost as much as I did… I worked for her… and then only after one year… she was gone! And I was back to my normal, boring life…

The war. I was still employed at that time but was treated worse than ever. It was always cleaning and more cleaning, and I was not allowed to sit at the professor's table any longer. And life became uninteresting and painful once more.

Once You-Know-Who was gone, I went back to work as normal, back at the Hogwarts I used to know. And that's where I'll stay.

**Sorry it wasn't that exciting, but now Filch is content… **

**3 forever, Jessica**


End file.
